I am not a man who has been in a ton of relationships. However, I have had enough to know that anger is an issue that will come up. Now, there are a few things that fall into the "anger" category, frustration being one of them. In writing this I fully understand that you or your lover will not always have the control to stop him or herself from reacting, but in order to effectively transmute or dispel the anger you must do one of several things:

1. Understand that the anger, your or the others, is NOT personal.
   
2. Know that the anger is ONLY a reaction and will eventually subside.
   
3. Find a way to blow off steam or allow the other person to blow off steam (find a healthy release of the pent up energy, often this is foolishly done by blaming your partner but that will only lead to worsened reactions the second time around)
   
4. Admit to yourself that your anger is your responsibility. If it is your partners anger allow them to see it on their own, if you try to make them see it chances are you will come off as blaming or you will have shifted from non-emotional to emotional and trying to push the weight of responsibility onto them.
   

   
    

   
    

   These things are crucial for relationships. If they do not happen, well take a look at a past relationship or someone else's and you will see the results.