Being in a relationship is one of the most truly splendid events that can take place in a person's life. You meet someone. You "fall" in love. You think about the future. And, eventually all things go as planned. You stay in love. You are able to overcome the urge to blame and fight with each other. You never think about cheating and you never have to worry about the other person cheating… right…?

Somehow, for some reason, while writing this blog I get the sense that more than a few of you are objecting to the above. Do such things not occur commonly? Perhaps the reason such statements sound like jokes is because we look at relationships half backwards or even wholly twisted. First, as the title points out, how can you be "in" a relationship? Where is it? Can you touch it or show it to me? I understand that this is a metaphor, but it also lends to delusional thinking. The "relationship" is treated as an external object that must be tended to. Yes, this is very detrimental to communication is relationships, an, honestly, that is all relationships are, communication. A "relationship" is communication through various forms (feelings, emotions, thoughts, intention, drives, etc.).

No wonder relationships are hellish these days. Everyone is trying to make love to a relationship!