For those of you feeling like you're failing on your endeavors to be a more spiritual individual, fear no more! The list of things to do is here. And best of all, it's free! (at least the first ten are)

 

1. Never crave the opposite sex (even while having sex)
   
2. Never look at the opposite sex in areas that might arouse you sexually
   
3. Whatever your belief, make sure to pray at least twice, if you are not religious but spiritual meditate at this time, if atheist, be sure to reassure your possession of the truth
   
4. Your prayer or meditation must be done in a quiet place while not moving, without any noise (noise will disconnect you from the source)
   
5. Stop making crude jokes
   
6. Stop thinking negative thoughts
   
7. Never lie, not even to yourself
   
8. If you smoke, quit, if you drink give it up, if you do drugs… well, you're already screwed so you might as well keep it up
   
9. If you see someone who isn't part of your click you must prove that their concept of the world is wrong (atheists, you're not out on this one, start proving you're right too)
   
10. Remember that you hold the key to salvation or at least the right way to live life, snicker within at all others as they tell you their silly traditions and beliefs (those idiots, you know everything, science, god or the mystical universe is on your side, right?)