"Why are you doing this to me?"

"You are upsetting me!"

"Do you know how badly that pisses me off?!"

What does all of this translate into? "You are responsible for the way I feel." "It is up to you to make me feel comfortable." "Why can't you act the way I want you to/ do what I want you to so that my life runs as expected?"

Here is the potentially painful truth: YOU are responsible for the way you feel. Sure, your boyfriend may be an a$$hole. Indeed, your friends may be as flaky as a Kellogg's brand of cereal. But, in the end… well, and in the beginning… you are responsible for you. It is you that must deal with your emotions and your behavior. Therefore, blaming someone else is not only a hindrance to your wellbeing, but also the complete opposite of your goal (to keep things running smoothly).

If you no longer wish to deal with the ignorance of others, stop talking to them. If you cannot stop talking to them or you wish to mend whatever wound or face whatever issue, speak to the person(s), but do so in a manner that is not blaming them for the way you feel. If your goal is to unleash the pent up emotion within you upon this individual, you will only be met with an equal force of opposition. Remember that the actions of others are a form of language, often much better communicated than with words. So, the next time a friend, lover, family member avoids you like the plague, be glad. They're doing you a favor. Chances are they would have tried to make you as miserable as they are or vice versa. Either way, it's a great opportunity for self reflection and a chance to deal with whatever abandonment issue are boiling beneath your bubble.

The one constant in life is change!