A very recent discussion/argument with a dear friend acted as an incredible reminder. Perception is our reality. We humans have a tendency to try to "convert" others into our ideological viewpoint without realizing we are doing so. We also tend to judge in the process as to make the other person see that our view is right and theirs is wrong. And this process works both ways. I found myself feeling the need to defend, as if there were a fort buried underneath my skin that this individual was "attacking". However, there is no fort, only an ideological barrier constructed by the ego. The beauty is the best way to end the war is to stop fighting. Weather the person is wrong or right does not matter. They are trying to warp you into their world and you are doing the same. An easy way to see if this is the case is to observe the discussion. Does it seem to be going somewhere? Are you listening to each other without the need to interject? Are you listening to each other's point of view or is it one sided on both sides? Do you find yourself or the other person saying "You aren't listening to me" (which really means "you aren't taking my side and stop defending yourself")?

Remember, when heated or even just talking, that it is very easy to judge another person for their actions and to call it "what it is". However, it is only "what it is" from your point of view. And, furthermore, judging a situation that you take no part in absolves you of personal decision making and responsibility; two factors that immediately change your course of action and perception if you were in the situation. So, in essence, when conversing with another person or even yourself, it is a very good reminder to remove judgment from the situation, no matter your age, sex or position.

After all, when was the last time you felt great after someone laid the hands of judgment upon you?