At first thought, in response to the latest Tiger Woods debacle, my inner outburst was "Who gives a s#!T?". But, like the Clinton "scandal" of the Nineties, celebrity's sex lives are one of the most important issues we can pay attention to. I mean, let's be honest, we watch these people smack around balls for hours on end so why not be concerned with what he does with his… personal time that is (what did you think I was going to say?)

 

If you think about it, what would we Americans do if we didn't have other people to judge and complain about? I find it especially frustrating when I am looking someone who should be portraying a perfect image at all times in their life, I'm sorry, let me repeat that, THEIR life, and they are not portraying perfection. I mean, come on, he is perfect. Isn't he? Every time I see a Gillette commercial or some other mind-numbing, reality-reducing, slave-driving television add I think to myself "Wow, those celebrities are perfect in every way shape and form. Why else would they be given the position of public property?"

 

Strangely, my friends told me I was living a lie. What do you think?