Recent events have stirred the pot for my emotions. It was a brief stint in an otherwise blissful existence, but the occurrence of boiled emotions was a reminder. It was a reminder for me to stay out of my mind, to rise above the preconceived notions I had about what I should do when it comes to close family members. We all have those preconceived notions; we were all trained with them as children.

"You should do this for me because I am this to you"

"For family, the rules are different"

"I've given so much to you and this is how you repay me?"

Now, because I brought personal matters into this blog I will throw the disclaimer that the individual I am speaking about is not one of my parents. However, these circumstances quite often can apply to parents, brothers, aunts, cousins and so on.

At this point in my life I ask: Why? Why should I or anyone else do anything? Is it mandatory? Who deemed it so? The word should is often accompanied in a statement designed to blame and often people are not aware that this is what they are doing. "Why are you doing this to me?" was a phrase used in a comversation questioning my inaction on a particular subject. It is as if we "owe" others, parents or friends, something and when the time comes to collect we must pay our dues.

For those receiving such a statement I ask: Are you aware that you have a choice in the matter? For those saying such a statement I ask: Are you aware that you are placing responsibility of your life on someone else?