Let's face it, you can't trust anybody these days. People are inherently prone to bad behavior. So, if you're in a relationship the only way to maintain a sense of balance, peace and love is to harp down on that individual like a dog you found roaming through your trash. First, wild dogs are bound to run away and sniff for a new home, so lock that puppy up and make sure he or she never sees the light of day. If and when the individual must venture beyond your doorstep, insure that the person is tied to your mental leash and unable to look in the direction of the opposite sex. If you don't do this, they just might find another person attractive. And let's be honest, all attraction to other people should end upon agreement of seeing each other. Second, when together, make sure the friends your spouse manages to keep understand that you are in control and can remove their playtime at your will. For, if they don't know this, chances are they will attempt inflame old habits like laughter and passionate interest in hobbies (the only passion this person should have should be for you). And lastly on today's list, make sure your spouse knows that you are the center of their universe and all other cares are secondary. This goes especially if you are married. After all, the relationship may take two to tango but you truly are the king or queen.

(If there is any confusion about the above simply refer to the training manual that came with your spouse when you purchased)