Let's face it, you can't trust anybody these days. People are inherently prone to bad behavior. So, if you're in a relationship the only way to maintain a sense of balance, peace and love is to harp down on that individual like a dog you found roaming through your trash. First, wild dogs are bound to run away and sniff for a new home, so lock that puppy up and make sure he or she never sees the light of day. If and when the individual must venture beyond your doorstep, insure that the person is tied to your mental leash and unable to look in the direction of the opposite sex. If you don't do this, they just might find another person attractive. And let's be honest, all attraction to other people should end upon agreement of seeing each other. Second, when together, make sure the friends your spouse manages to keep understand that you are in control and can remove their playtime at your will. For, if they don't know this, chances are they will attempt inflame old habits like laughter and passionate interest in hobbies (the only passion this person should have should be for you). And lastly on today's list, make sure your spouse knows that you are the center of their universe and all other cares are secondary. This goes especially if you are married. After all, the relationship may take two to tango but you truly are the king or queen.

(If there is any confusion about the above simply refer to the training manual that came with your spouse when you purchased)

Defense is natural. All people, all beings in fact, defend themselves when under threat. There is nothing wrong with this. However, when there is no actual threat, when instead only an idea is threatened, there is a tendency for people to grow defensive if not violent. A great example of this is the defense of religion. Most have been witness to this or even partaken in the event. Perhaps a comment was made by a non-believer. Or, perhaps an individual who clearly does not prescribe to the same ideology enters the room (digital or real). It doesn't take much for people with "strong beliefs" to begin the often insane crusade to either prove the other wrong or show that their "truth" is unshakable.

Why?

If a belief is strong, it needs no defense. Ideas are untouchable. They are only under threat when the believer feels vulnerable. This is akin to a "macho" man feeling the need to parade his bravado in a juvenile effort to appear "tough". Clearly, such an individual is weak. Otherwise he, or even she, would feel no need to prove. The individual's identity is clearly built on a house of cards and so is ready to tumble.

If you feel strongly about something, put it to the test. Take the criticism. Allow others to hold their beliefs without the need to convert them. The truth is strong enough on its own.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"You are upsetting me!"

"Do you know how badly that pisses me off?!"

What does all of this translate into? "You are responsible for the way I feel." "It is up to you to make me feel comfortable." "Why can't you act the way I want you to/ do what I want you to so that my life runs as expected?"

Here is the potentially painful truth: YOU are responsible for the way you feel. Sure, your boyfriend may be an a$$hole. Indeed, your friends may be as flaky as a Kellogg's brand of cereal. But, in the end… well, and in the beginning… you are responsible for you. It is you that must deal with your emotions and your behavior. Therefore, blaming someone else is not only a hindrance to your wellbeing, but also the complete opposite of your goal (to keep things running smoothly).

If you no longer wish to deal with the ignorance of others, stop talking to them. If you cannot stop talking to them or you wish to mend whatever wound or face whatever issue, speak to the person(s), but do so in a manner that is not blaming them for the way you feel. If your goal is to unleash the pent up emotion within you upon this individual, you will only be met with an equal force of opposition. Remember that the actions of others are a form of language, often much better communicated than with words. So, the next time a friend, lover, family member avoids you like the plague, be glad. They're doing you a favor. Chances are they would have tried to make you as miserable as they are or vice versa. Either way, it's a great opportunity for self reflection and a chance to deal with whatever abandonment issue are boiling beneath your bubble.

The one constant in life is change!

Behavior is a strange thing. For all advancing and growing up we think we do, it is amazing to see just how much of our behavior is repetitive. And the repetition would not be an issue if so much of it wasn't problematic. So do we change? How does the average man or woman make a difference in his or her life? Are they slaves to this behavior, or can they make a change?

We can indeed change! However, the source of our problems is not within the behavior but much closer to home. It is our mindset, or as I like to say our energy tune. Much of this "tune" is set by how powerful we feel in regards to our personal lives. When we truly feel that we can make a change within that is when we access to our inner most source of power. This is because we always the power within, we must simply unleash it. How to do this? Dive in! Ask yourself questions if necessary. Read material on self-help. Investigate you!

That is a start.

The race of humans is truly a splendor of Earth's creation. We are advanced in so many ways, ways in which most humans are rarely aware of. Though, on the other hand, there are many ways in which we fall short as a species. Today I was privy to such an example. Unfortunately, built within we have a need to follow the most motivated individuals. This is not inherently a problem, simply a blueprint for our social hierarchy to keep things in order. Problems, however, are created because no longer are we driven purely by instincts. Instead, our heads are filled with so much extraneous matter that we find it hard to form balance in our actions (simply observe people as they are). While I was walking today, I came upon a crosswalk. In an effort to be a good Samaritan (I'm not actually from Samaria), I pressed the crosswalk button and crossed when indicated. However, a good ten or twelve people in cars felt as if I was in the wrong and proceeded to honk at me. One older gentlemen felt it necessary to indicate with his vehicle that he would hit me if I did not hurry. Another classy gal decided to flip me the bird for pointing out that the little man in white was well lit and still shining. Now, I don't imagine that these people are inherently evil, but I am assuming that none of them questioned why they felt it the right thing to do by honking at me and proceeding to pull forward in an aggressive manner towards a man on foot. Albeit, this was a very busy section, and people are rarely used to dealing with pedestrians. But, I ask, does this warrant violent behavior (road rage). How many excuses can we make for ourselves before it becomes apparent that we must make our own choices and not just follow behind the person in front?

Many of today's cultures seem to detest the idea of being along. When we hear of a story of somebody being placed in a situation where they must be isolated and find enjoyment there is a tendency to go "awe, poor guy." But what is the problem with being alone? Where is there an issue of sadness? The insane perpetuation of boredom killing is a cancerous plague that has spread throughout the minds of the masses. What seems to be the case is simply: we are afraid to face our thoughts. When we are alone (and not inundated by entertainment) we have to listen to the insanity that roles throughout our minds. And by insanity I do not only mean the craziness of a sociopath. Indeed, the bulk of madness lies with the ordinary man and woman. Pay attention to yourself; see if, even for a brief moment, when you have nothing to do, nothing to entertain your mind with, you start fidgeting. See if, in the moment of nothingness, you start looking for something to occupy your time and focus. These symptoms are akin to a hamster on a wheel, the running cannot stop and you are (apparently) powerless to control it.

However, I challenge you. See if you can go into the feeling. See if you can sit and do nothing. Pay attention to your surroundings. Observe the world around you. If you feel the urge to "do", simply observe that within yourself and allow the feeling to be without acting upon it. The results may change your life.

The tribulations of daily living bear down on like an anchor tied to a marathon swimmer. Many people, if not most, feel as if life just will not give them a little slack. After fighting and struggling for so long all anybody wants is a little bit of the reward they've been chasing for so long. Yet, often the case is that another problem comes along and adds troubles to the already stuffed basket. How, then, can one break the cyclical nature of brewing fires and putting them out? How can the average man or women get "ahead of the game" long enough to enjoy just a sliver of life? As always, I advocate that you see the truth: To a large extent you are creating your world. You are starting the fires you so desperately need to put out. It is embedded within us to think and feel that the world around us is to blame for our issues, yet we fail to see and take responsibility for the one thing we only ever have true control and direct influence over: ourselves. It is within that the work must first be done. Within you must create balance. From here, the rest of the world and play into affect. And when unavoidable turbulence comes about, your reaction will be of stable nature and thus ripple that energetic vibration into everything and everyone.

From here, the world is your oyster.

A famous comedian once said that relationships are like a party. When you're outside of the party looking in, you feel left out, sad and lonely. You want to be there, but you weren't invited. When you're at the party, you're tired, ready to go. Perhaps even ready to go to other parties. Much of human life runs in this manner. We set out to achieve and accomplish. Have harbor lust and longing for what is not in our possession. However, when we hold the grand prize; once we've conquered that mountain or hill, there is a sense of lack. And, sometimes instantly, we start off on a new trek, in search of fulfillment. The mechanism for this behavior I've written about in prior blogs. But never is this lesson too redundant. We need to understand the way our minds work. Often we are driven to attain and then find that we are empty after receiving. This is because our goal was not to have but to chase. The chase is what we want, though we may say otherwise. And while there is nothing wrong with a healthy game of cat and mouse, this mustn't usurp our time on this Earth. The outcome of this sort of lifestyle is one let down after another and thus a jarred view on life. When feeling those urges to accomplish or tackle, the crucial element to staying in control is (once more) awareness. Become aware of what you are chasing and why you are chasing it.

Forgiving people for their mistakes is not only a high-minded and noble deed, but also a healthy practice. However, when it comes to the "heroes" of a country, nations and cultures love to exonerate and then glorify individuals whose actions were none short of madness. In America, our culture exceeds at this. Figures such as Christopher Columbus or Woodrow Wilson are seen as heroic figures or staples for society; a sort of strong foundation for the moral fiber of this nation. If this is the case, it's no wonder this nation has the problems it does. Columbus was a genocidal lunatic who viewed the native "savages" as less than human, and saw no problem in killing them like cattle. Woodrow Wilson, a "strong" and iconic American President was a proud supporter of the KKK and obvious racist. Even Abraham Lincoln, "the man who freed the slaves" cared little about the human rights of blacks.

"My paramount object in this struggle is to save the Union, and is not either to save or to destroy slavery. If I could save the Union without freeing any slave I would do it, and if I could save it by freeing all the slaves I would do it; and if I could save it by freeing some and leaving others alone I would also do that. What I do about slavery, and the colored race, I do because I believe it helps to save the Union; and what I forbear, I forbear because I do not believe it would help to save the Union. I shall do less whenever I shall believe what I am doing hurts the cause, and I shall do more whenever I shall believe doing more will help the cause."

-Abraham Lincoln (Honest Abe)

Some feel that we should ignore this fact because that was "just how they were during those times" and they truly meant well. But this poor and ignorant stance on the subject begs the question: What about men like Adolf Hitler or Osama Bin Laden? Should we pardon them for their ignorance too? Or is the case simply Hitler was German and seen as our "enemy" and not a "founding father" or "exalted hero".

Seeing as we are an "advanced" culture and people, isn't it about time we see this sort of childish behavior for what it is?

A very recent encounter with a hard piece of metal and a color full of rocks reminded me of just how important it is to be aware of our bodies. Too easily these incredible machines are taken for granted. Within my own mind I sometimes forget about the necessities that are required. Sometimes there is an unconscious notion that I can simply exist without the need to pay attention within and inside (mind the pun). But, alas, I am free and well (with minor bruise and some staples). However, the greatest impact was the lesson learned. There is only so long one can neglect the care and attention of his body before it sends him a very unpleasant reminder.

Take Care Of Yourselves!

The title of this blog is indeed repetitive. Ironically, this is often the case with our regrets. We experience so much in our lives, so many ups and downs. It is impossible not to experience the cascade of fluctuating emotions. However, I have found that the bulk of pain lies not within the trauma of the actual experience, but in the reminiscing of past events. And, unless you've spent your entire life in solitary confinement, chances are you've enacted some undesirable behavior, at one point in time. However, the true display of madness shines forth when we lament over past actions. As the thoughts pop up we are tortured; shaken back to a position of fear, all the while there is nothing of threat standing before us. And if that weren't insane enough, these torturous thoughts lend themselves all too easily to further irrational madness, only driving the individual deeper into a state of regret. Now, if that weren't a sign of a sick and dangerously insane species, I don't know what is.

The search for security is a quest all beings undertake. All species have certain requirements needed to survive. Humans, however, have discovered how to take the requirements for daily living thousands of steps beyond. We no longer need to hunt. We simply must drive (not even walk) to the grocery store to pick up our pre-packaged meat and bread to feed ourselves and families. If you happen to be wealthy, chances are even these meager steps are done for you. One might say (and forgive me if this expression bothers you) "We have the world by the balls!" People often wonder (in all classes) "what does that person have to worry about, he has everything a human could ever want, and was handed to him."

The problem is inherent, however. Because we are designed to go out and hunt for survival, one of the worst things for us is to have everything handed to us on a plate. We need to do. We need to be out utilizing our skills and improving our mastery of whatever talents are latent within us. So to have everything given to you is more likely to be a curse rather than a blessing. Yes, winning million of dollars can be wondrous. But if your goal is only to attain this or that, your life will soon grow stale. Stagnation will infiltrate your mind and problems will soon manifest, only with all the new avenues money can afford.